Mother's Day News

 The News You Need

14-May-2018 Mother’s Day Ridiculously Long Edition

• US Jets intercepted two Russian bombers on Friday, about 200 miles from the coast of Alaska. The Russians like to send planes toward other people’s airspace and planes. There have been near-collisions in the Baltic and the Black Seas. I’d like to see the Russians defend that approach on Judge Judy.

• In 1908 Anna Jarvis wanted to honor her mother’s work with Civil War vets, and promoted mother’s day. In 1914 the second Sunday in May was designated as Mother’s Day by Congress.

• In 1920 Anna Jarvis begged husbands and children to stop buying cards and candy because the vendors were “charlatans, bandits, pirates, racketeers, kidnappers and termites.” She didn't say anything about construction paper and Elmer's glue.

• In 2013 The Atlantic published an article saying that “Mother’s Day has become to moms what Christmas is to kids: A perversion of the simple joy of honoring loved ones.” In my view, families can easily un-pervert the day and share some appreciation together.

• According to the internet, the average stay-at-home mom works 94 hours a week.

• In 1987, UPI ran a story about AT&T’s preparations for 26,000 long distance calls a minute. They expected 37.4 million calls. Mother’s Day was second to Christmas among holidays for reaching out and touching someone. Normal weekend calling was 21 million calls. Calls were 3 times as long as average weekday calls.

• Let’s see … 37 million times 10 mins is 370 million minutes. Long distance rates back there were what, 30 cents per minute? Can you say, “charlatans, bandits, pirates, racketeers …?” That’s enough money to make men behave badly.

• In 1997 Qwest was charging 7.5 cents per minute for long distance. CEO Joseph Naccio said, “Long distance is still the most profitable business in America, next to importing cocaine.” He was previously head of long distance marketing for AT&T.

• Thailand is the only country that imprisons women at a higher rate than the US (127 per 100,00 women), according to a 2016 NY Times article. Two-thirds of women in state prisons are there for non-violent offenses.

• In 2007, the Bureau of Justice Statistics (a real office in the Justice Department of the US) reported that 147,000 minor children had a mother in prison, up from 63,000 in 1991.

• If I could be in charge of Mother’s Day for one day, every mom would get a hug from each of her kids, and the kids would mean it, and the dads would do whatever the moms wanted including feeding people, driving to the lake, or giving her the TV remote.

• In 2017, Margaret Howarth of Manchester UK had 45 grandchildren and 84 great-grandchildren. In a case like that the logistics for my Mother’s Day rule might be stretched past a reasonable limit. They might want to facetime or something. But hugs are still preferred, along with the TV remote.

• Long ago, mammoths were common here in central Texas. Last month Jeff Kelly found a mammoth tooth that is about 100,000 years old near La Grange. There is a photo of a molar bigger than a dinner plate online, if you look for it. I’m thinking about the tooth fairy, and I’m scared.

• The town of Wauconda IL has been buried in requests for vibranium.